Worry is the thief of joy

Aren’t we supposed to feel joyous and bubbly and peaceful this time of year?

Howling winds kept me up all night - the ones outside, and the ones in my mind. All night the wind raged, tearing and pulling and pushing and roaring. And I was afraid. Of what, I do not know.

The ringing in my ears increased the more I worried. (I’ve had tinnitus for months on end and it has never once stopped.) The ringing is so loud this morning that I cannot hear anything above it. This constant fake noise in my head. After falling asleep after 2 am I wake up yelling. Pushing. Demanding.

I stole the joy from the kids this morning. Hurry up. Do this. I don’t know why you can’t…and Jaiden saying “It’s okay Mom.” in her calming way - the only voice that reaches my brain.

I make my coffee and a Word jumps into my jumbled-up mind: “My peace I give to you” John 14:27. Peace???? You want me to feel peace when I’ve been up all night? When the house looks like the wind blew through it and not around it? When the kids are not sticking to the routine and one can’t find her basketball jersey when I specifically asked her the night before if she had everything in her bag?

I turn to Galatians, chapter 5, living by the Spirit, a Spirit-led life. And these fruits that everyone draws the cute little pictures of? Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. They only come when we crucify our sinful nature. They are the fruit of dying to oneself and allowing yourself to be led by the Spirit.

It’s no wonder I’m not feeling it this Christmas.

And why does Paul lump sexual immorality and debauchery and impurity with hatred, jealousy, fits of rage, envy, and the like? Because they are all selfish sins. Sins that affect others and yet we commit them anyways, often without a thought.

Focusing on self does not bring joy.

When we are overwhelmed we need to RUN to the One who is Higher than us. He sees everything from an eternal perspective. This is all temporary.

It looks bad now, but joy comes in the morning.

Even if I have to crawl back in bed and start all over again, He will be waiting for me and ready to offer me peace and comfort and joy.

Will you accept that peace today?

Tidings of comfort and joy,

Carolyn